Sometimes, I wonder and ask myself, “Why can’t you just be that normal girl!? That girl that is accepted by society at large? That girl that is a ‘good girl’ who does everything expected of her. Why!!? Why Maya Korrs why!!?”… 

And then I remind myself why I changed my name. Why I decided to lose weight. Why I chose to defy traditions, customs and expectations of what a “good indian girl” should be. 

You fight so much to create this better life for yourself.. People didn’t appreciate you going to the gym, making a better life for yourself. Instead, you got called names, that you are a loose woman, going to the gym to meet men. Oh my.. 

Nobody knows how much I fought to change this life of mine. It just ain’t weight loss. I had to fight and say that I am going to the gym cos I don’t wanna stay cooped up at home. I had to fight and say NO! I don’t and won’t eat all that crap that is constantly being put in front of me. I had to fight to change my life.. Why!? Cos I know I did not want to be fat, frumpy and with nobody to love. Nobody wanted me. I was an outcast in my own society. People sneered at me. People said I was fat and nobody wants me. People said that nobody was gonna marry me. And when I lost weight and became hott as fuck, ok hott enough, damn, those same people came running and wanna date me and marry me and all that. Please. I am never going back to people who rejected me. I am worth more than that. I know my worth. That is why, I no longer date anyone from my society. Marriage is not even a question. Please. It is sad that I have to face being ‘cursed’ and emotional blackmail regarding marrying a punjabi from my own mother. Thankfully my dad is really cool and always pushes me to go ot there and see the world- to travel, have an international mindset, meet people, go out, see the world. And he is super supportive of me finding what I want in life and marrying the man of my dreams when my time is right. I love you daddy! 

Right now, I am desperately looking for a job, trying to get money to be independent again.. And I gym to keep myself sane, and trying to lose weight during this period… 

I try soooo hard.. Up til today, I have not given up on myself. There must be a cure, a fix, a solution to this weight loss thing. There must be. This darn PCOS makes life 1 million times harder, but let’s try and work with it. I am sure there is a way to tackle the weight loss with this. I’m on a mission, and I am my own guinea pig. I have been trying so many things amd have failed miserably so many times.. But at least I can walk away knowing what doesn’t work for me. 

I know this is off topic. But I guess it does relate to why I strive so hard to work on my body despite dismal results. This is my public face. I have another blog, but that’s a secret cos everything else that goes on in my life goes there… Cos I don’t think the world is ready to face the harsh realities of what I am facing and sharing.. 

Always fighting on…

Maya Korrs 


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